Till the sun rise up.

This year has been a pretty bumpy year. Nothing can make me too happy to realise there's more pain and hurt to endure. They say obstacles makes you stronger. Not me. After going thru everything, im still the one who ended up in tears. But all this kinda forced me to grow up. There're too many things im expected to understand. But i don't want to, i don't want to know things that will come springing back to hurt me.

If I can choose, i would rather close both my eyes and ears from what people really are. How they're crafted, how the truth is so simple - everyone fails. I don't wish to be expose to how cunning and hypocritical everyone is. How it feels to think you know a someone and realising they're nothing you ever thought they were. Or how you thought you were part of something, how impt they made you felt and you realised you're nothing more than just a passerby. Pretentious? Who? Everyone is. Everyone I repeat. EVERYONE has a secret.

And i've found out secrets are the greatest weapon. Aren't they?

I've changed. To someone i never thought i ever would. Not stronger. I'm still a weakling hahaha. But i guess im more direct now. More open, with thoughts with words or actions. And i guess im meaner lolllllllll. I really hate it, how i am now. I know people say you're the one who choose your own paths. But what if, what if people around me blocked me from all the other paths and left me with this only one?

I guess im sorry im not as demure and kind as what a normal girl should be. This is my secret, used to be. And now this is it, open and shared. It is a fact, im not gna pretend im not all this anymore. At least im not some hypocritical bitch and someone wearing so many masks. KNOW WHY?? Cos im vain and if i wear so many masks my pores won't be able to breath hence causing pimples. To every bitch who caused me to become who i am now, i hope all your mask-wearing will cause you to have pimples for life.

Im just a 15 year old trying to fight for myself. Because if i don't. Who will.